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#handupsarenotacrime

Having studied UCI Article 9 titled “Secured Hand-Ups”  it has become apparent that in order to be DQ’d that all elements of the hand-up rule need to be satisfied. In other words, there would have to be proof that the participant did have a beer on the course but also that there was a hand-up. 
 
9-203(b)(1)(2)(3) defines hand-up as the situation between participant and spectator where (1) spectator has rights in the beer (ownership) and (2) the participant gives value for the beer (almost crashes or vomits upon consumption) and (3) that the beer physically exchanges hands from spectator to participant. All three elements must be satisfied in order for the participant to be rightfully DQ.
 
Official Comment 1 to section 9-203 defines spectator as a person on the other side of the course tape and participant as the person racing. 
The last element of 9-203(b) is of particular interest.

Imagine the following: 

Beer is hanging from a branch that is looming above the course and a participant reaches up to grab it…no hand up occurred because according to Article 9 the beer must change hands from a spectator to participant. Spectator is a defined term in the UCI and a branch is not a spectator. Thus, there is a missing element and no DQ. 

Or, imagine the beer is gently set down and left beside the trunk of a beautiful deciduous tree that just so happens to be adjacent to a corner on the course and a participant reaches down and picks the beer up…again, no hand-up because the trunk of a tree is not a spectator as defined by the UCI. Thus, no DQ.

I want the kids to know that the hypothetical deciduous tree  can also be a conifer. I’m not a tracist; discrimination is bad.

#conifers4evah
In both of these examples the following occurs: beer is consumed, derogatory chants are bellowed, somewhere an overly concerned parent is crying about the fall of family values in America at a distinctively European sport thus attracting more taunts and heckles until she/he realizes the ridiculous nature of their concern. In the end, everybody wins.

If the UCI is really going to start cracking down on beer hand-ups then they need to implement harsher sanctions for when beer is wasted. 

The Equal Protection Clause requires all similarly situated beers to be treated equally – consumed in entirety or suffer the ancient art of Rochambo.
 
For example, if a DQ situation arises but it is proven that the participant failed to fully or partially consume the beer then the UCI shall mandate that all of the disqualified participants fellow racers should get to kick him in the nuts, but only once….the UCI is not arbitrary or unreasonable. Now, Ladies the UCI has never fallen short on sanctions so I’m sure the drafters of Article 9 would be able to provide an appropriate penalty for all the beerists in your race- those who discriminate against full beers. Kids, don’t be a beerist; discrimination is bad.


In sum, Cyclcocross is really only cool because, and not in spite, of it being like a party.
Take out the beer hand-ups and its a slippery slope to becoming like a crit. Nobody wants that. I say that as a roadie.
Disclaimer: None of this is true.

OVCX #1: BloomingCROSS / Cat 3 Race

Eva Bandman Cyclocross Park “Practice Lap”

Cyclocross season is here! Every Wednesday night at Eva Bandman Cyclocross Park, the Louisville CX scene gets together for a “CX group ride”. Three groups – A, B and C (in order of speediness) set off at 6PM for a structured and sane set of laps.

Louisville Short Track Racing

SHORT TRACK RACING LOUISVILLE 2013 from Eye Level Films on Vimeo.

 

#Louisville2013

UCI Cyclocross World Championships 2013 – Louisville, Kentucky USA

CycloCross 2013 – Louisville, Kentucky from Chaz Rough on Vimeo.

UCI Cyclocross Elite World Championships – Louisville 2013 from Ernesto Pacheco on Vimeo.

Nys’ reaction to the outpouring of support was hardly unique. Racer after racer, most more accustomed to the cloud of silence that envelops anyone not at the front of the field in European races than the ebullient atmosphere of American ’cross, said the sheer volume along the course was overwhelming.

Commentary: Despite hiccups, Louisville 2013 a success by Dan Seaton, VeloNews

Just beyond the crowds, a horde of city workers spent the day racing the mighty Ohio river, filling bags of sand and running water pumps to hold back its rising waters. One of the workers explained: “You see that red line on the tree by your waist? That’s where the water should be right about now.” When I thanked him and wished him a day off to rest his back, he responded in a born-and-raised Kentucky accent, “There isn’t any place I’d rather be right now.”

Bourbon and Bikes by Kristin Butcher, Paved Magazine

Sounds

3 ambient loops of #Louisville2013 crowd noise from @solomon71

 

Image Galleries

Brakethrough Media: CX Worlds 2013 – Color, CX Worlds 2013 – Black and White, CX Worlds 2013 – Color Pt. II, CX Worlds 2013 – Black and White Pt. II

Matthew Lasala, Russell Bird

Flickr: caseyakellyFlickr: LukeFlickr: xmatic (Elite Men)Flickr: xmatic (Elite Women)Flickr: jasonkleinFlickr: mattdemartino (start here)Flickr: christianleaskFlickr: roxanne kingFlickr: grimpeurbros (start here)Flickr: adamdoesitFlickr: cdaleFlickr: keep albany boring, Flickr: sonofabike, Flickr: gustavosalFlickr Pool: CX Worlds 2013

 

Raleigh Singlespeed CX Derby

devil drinking

 

Video: Americans Love ‘Single Speed Cyclocross’ / Amerikanen zijn gek op ‘Single Speed Cyclocross’ - Sporza.be

 

Louisville 2013 Cyclocross World Championships Spotter’s Guide »

A mobile-friendly guide to recognizing the World Championship riders in all races.

@velolouisville is tweeting all week long about #Louisville2013

 

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